偷——卡罗尔·安·达菲

◎呐石




◎呐石
 
我偷过的最不寻常的东西?一个雪人。
半夜。冬月之下,他看上去壮观;
一个白色的大个子哑巴。一个
寒冷如冰块的知己,我打心底里
想得到他。我从脑袋开始动手。
死了也不让步,除非得到
自己想要的。他有一吨重;他的躯干,
冻得硬邦邦,抱在怀里,寒气
直逼我的肚腹。感到刺激多半是因为知道
孩童们在清早会大声尖叫。现在日子难熬。
有时偷些没用的东西。我开车瞎逛,
漫无目的,强闯民宅,只为了进去瞧瞧。
我是个讨厌鬼,翻个乱七八糟,或许就顺走台照相机。
我小心地用戴手套的手扭动门拉手。
一个陌生人的卧室。镜子。我吁一声——啊哈。
把雪人在院子重新堆起来,费了些时间,
他看上去有些异样。我跑过去
猛踢一脚。一下,再一下。我气喘吁吁
狼狈不堪。现在看好可笑。那时我就
一个人站在雪堆间,烦得要死。
烦。烦得想把自己吞下去。
有一次,我偷了一把吉他,想着会去
学弹吉他的。我还偷过一座莎士比亚的半身像,
卖了;这个雪人算是最奇特的了。
你不懂我现在说的话,是吧?
 
Stealing-----by Carol Ann Duffy
 
The most unusual thing I ever stole? A snowman.
Midnight. He looked magnificent; a tall, white mute
beneath the winter moon. I wanted him, a mate
with a mind as cold as the slice of ice
within my own brain. I started with the head.
Better off dead than giving in, not taking
what you want. He weighed a ton; his torso,
frozen stiff, hugged to my chest, a fierce chill
piercing my gut. Part of the thrill was knowing
that children would cry in the morning. Life's tough.
Sometimes I steal things I don't need. I joy-ride cars
to nowhere, break into houses just to have a look.
I'm a mucky ghost, leave a mess, maybe pinch a camera.
I watch my gloved hand twisting the doorknob.
A stranger's bedroom. Mirrors. I sigh like this - Aah.
It took some time. Reassembled in the yard,
he didn't look the same. I took a run
and booted him. Again. Again. My breath ripped out
in rags. It seems daft now. Then I was standing
alone among lumps of snow, sick of the world.
Boredom. Mostly I'm so bored I could eat myself.
One time, I stole a guitar and thought I might
learn to play. I nicked a bust of Shakespeare once,
flogged it, but the snowman was the strangest.
You don't understand a word I'm saying, do you?


返回专栏
©2000-2022 poemlife.com All Rights Reserved  粤ICP备18148997号