卢文悦《一只@猫的N种可爱》英译

◎西思翎、田海燕





卢文悦《一只
@猫的N种可爱》英译


西思翎 译



卢文悦,诗人,剧作者,独立艺评人。
Lu Wenyue, poet, playwright, and independent art critic.

一只@猫的N种可爱
 


                        动物的脸似乎总处于
                        说出词语的边缘…
                                 —阿甘本:《图像与沉默》
 
1
好的猫永远在给予
 
你可以想不起我的所有表情
只要能想起一个
那是我想起你的最好礼物
 
我只要把头朝向天空
你不辽阔也会深邃
 
2
我讨厌镜子完全出于热爱
 
镜子是你的面具
你在里面忍住笑却忍不住哭
因为镜子不会哄你
 
我在你的身后很不自在
趴也不是站也不是
 
3
某年某日某时我被赋予某刻重任
 
你说我的朋友是我的敌人
不抓住子鼠做不了你的丑牛
还会改变我们牢不可破的主仆关系
 
我知道这是个立场问题
没办法我在你的膝上故意腻歪
 
4
好的猫永远在给予
 
就像不幸的猫都是一样的
幸福的猫各有各的幸福
就像我的眼睛辩证统一的对视
 
就像应许我拥有对春的歌唱自由
就像阉割剥夺了我叫春的权利
 
5
我在你失眠的时候想我的孤独
 
哦那是个低头明月的夜晚
好多个夜晚的一个夜晚
好想抱起地上的月亮给你
 
我恨我们是个合在一块的单数
你一边抚摸我一边自语乖我在我在


6
有时候我们的关系属于后印象主义
还带点复杂情绪的野兽派
 
比如你让我想起肉只是个意象是吃的启示
想到吃的动作属强烈表现的行动
想到饥饿感会激发祈求和怜悯的馈赠
 
哪怕我们为命相依一种假寐的隐喻
 
7
这似乎明确了叙述性和解释性
我的流浪身份借助偶然获得了拯救
 
世上又有多少事情不是这样
使得神秘得以的敞开一如启蒙出口
我们组成一个命运共同体
 
这不正好证明你为什么经常把我搂在怀里
 
8
我记得我把你关进笼子里的日子
你和我一下子跌进巨大悲哀
 
我好像重新享受了最惠国民待遇
如果有一种关在笼里的爱也叫爱
我宁愿回到没有爱的荒郊野外
 
如你在笼子外握住我伸出铁栅栏的手
 
9
你面对笼子的表情比面对国家的表情复杂
你面对我的表情就是面对你自己
 
当脱离了你我之间人与宠物的关系
可怜的意志只剩听话顺从
只要我不去逾越那条坚定而脆弱底线
 
我蜷缩着身体躲在一隅里的一隅

10
后来你真的逃离站在屋顶宣示主权
仰看过去你踱步的姿态很庄严很神圣
 
这时候用可爱形容你多么不合时宜
可爱会增加某种游戏谐谑的亵渎
一种决绝藐视的失信与背叛
 
你在等待我做出历史性的选择与决定
 
11
为此我曾绝过食打翻你递进的水
我甚至连一眼都不想看你
 
倘若你心里面以为我在撒娇
我为什么会以这样的轻浮浅薄这样的
幼稚讨取你的同情与欢心
 
我的沉默在问你敢不敢看我的眼睛
 
12
你再次回到我的身边我流泪了
你闭着双眼安静得好像不存在
 
我的手放在你身上能感到你的心在说话
你原谅我就像我认识到我的过错
我们之间的缄默就是一种温暖的颤动

那夜所有的星星为我们升起
 
13
好的猫永远在给予
 
我们秘仪彼此的理解表达
我们终极天涯但绝不沦落
 
我们契合相互尊重的内心细节
我们灵犀双方每个一瞥的触动
 
好的猫永远在给予

 
2020.2.7.2:37-4:09初稿
2.13.4:56定稿

题图:陈牧春:《我是一只不能出去的喵》之一  布面油画  2020



An @Cat’s N Forms of Loveliness

 
                               Animal faces always seem to be
                               On the verge of saying words ...
                                                            - Giorgio Agamben, Image and Silence
 

1
Good cats always give
 
You may not remember all my facial expressions
As long as you can remember one
My gift will be that I remember you
 
I just raise my head up to the sky
One may not be vast and still be deep
 
2
I hate mirrors simply out of love
 
The mirror is your mask
You are inside and hold your laugh but can’t help crying
Because the mirror won't console you
 
I feel very uncomfortable behind you
Neither crouching down nor standing up
 
3
A heavy task was laid upon me a certain time a certain day a certain year

You call my friend my enemy
If I don’t catch the rat, I cannot be your ox,
It would change our indestructible master-servant relationship
 
I know this is a matter of position
I have no choice but to bend up crooked on your lap

4
Good cats always give
 
Just like all unhappy cats resemble each other
Happy cats’ happiness is very private
Just like my eyes dialectically unify my vision
 
Just like leaving me the freedom to sing about spring
Just like neutering me deprived me of my right to call on females
 
5
I think of my loneliness when you can’t sleep
 
Oh, that night with the descending moon
One night among so many nights
How I wished to lift the moon from the ground and bring it to you
 
I hate that we make an odd number together
You pet me talking to yourself, my dear, here I am

6                                                                           
Sometimes our relationship is post-impressionist
Plus some complex emotional fauvism
 
For example, you remind me meat is only an image inspiring eating
Thinking of eating associates to strong expressive action
Thinking of hunger stimulates prayer and mercy

Even though we depend on each other metaphorically for a feigned nap
 
7
This seems to have clarified the narrative and its interpretation
My reputation as a wanderer was safe by chance
 
Again, how often things in this world are like this
It breaks open the mystery as an enlightened exit
We form a community of fate
 
Does this not simply explain why you so often hold me in your arms?
 
8
I remember the day when I put you in a cage
You and I at once fell into great sorrow together
 
I seem to have enjoyed the treatment of the most favored nation once more
If love locked in a cage is also called love
I would rather go back to the wild without love
 
From outside the cage you held my hand sticking out of the iron bars
 
9
Facing the cage your expression was more complex than when facing the country
Facing me your expression was facing yourself
 
When we escape from our relationship of human to pet
Poor will only leads to docility and obedience
As long as I don’t cross the firm but fragile bottom line
 
I curl up and hide my body deep in the darkness of a corner

10
When later you really escaped and stood on the roof to declare your sovereignty
Looking up, your pacing was solemn and your gestures were sacred
 
At that moment, how unfit it was to describe you as cute
Cuteness would turn the lack of respect into a joke or amusement
Like definitive despicable disloyalty and betrayal
 
You are waiting for me to make historic choices and decisions
 
11
For this reason, I once refused eating and knocked over the water you handed
I didn't even wish to offer you one glance
 
If you think in your heart that I'm coquettish
Why would I be so frivolous
So childish to seek your sympathy and please you
 
My silence is my way of asking you to dare to look into my eyes
 
12
When you come back to me again, I cry
With your eyes closed, you are as quiet as if you don’t exist
 
My hands on you can feel your heart as if talking
You forgive me as if I realized my fault
The silence between us is a warm tremor

That night all the stars rose for us
 
13
Good cats always give
 
Our secret ritual is one of mutual understanding and expression
We explore the ultimate boundaries of the world but never fall
 
We agree on the inner fine points of respect for each other
We sense our soul in every stroke or glance from both sides
 
Good cats always give
 
2020.2.7.2:37-4:09 draft
2.13.4:56 finalized
 
Thanks to: Chen Muchun, "I am Meow I Can't Go Out", 1, oil on canvas 2020.


English translation by Jan Laurens Siesling, March 30, 2021






 


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