如果你总是吃生意大利面，
你就会染上蛲虫病，
然后我就要做一个
大蒜的项链给你戴
每天晚上你睡着时，
它们就走了。
如果你不善待你的小弟弟，我也会知道
因为我长着一只特殊眼睛
当我不在家时暗中监视你。
你不能瞒住它
所以老老实实。
如果你摸你“下边那儿”
除了你使用厕所时之外的任何时间，
你的手就会变绿，掉下来，
如果你在继续斗鸡眼的话
它们将会保持那个样子
直至风
改变方向。
杀死一只飞蛾会倒霉。飞蛾
是我们祖先的灵魂，它可能
就是老爸造访。
如果你吻一个男孩的嘴唇
你们的嘴唇将会黏在一起
他就会利用这个机会
吸干你的大脑。
如果你曾经对我撒谎
上帝会知道
出卖你。
并且有时候
上帝会言过其实。
相信我--
你不要让那样的事
发生。
If you keep eating raw spaghetti
you’ll get pinworms,
then I’ll have to make
a necklace of garlic for you to wear
each night while you sleep,
until they go away.
If you’re mean to your younger brother, I’ll know
because I have a special eye
that spies on you when I’m not home.
You cannot hide from it,
so don’t try.
If you touch your “down there”
any time other than when using the toilet,
your hand will turn green and fall off.
If you keep crossing your eyes
they will stay that way
until the wind
changes direction.
It is bad luck to kill a moth. Moths are
the souls of our ancestors and it just
might be Papa paying a visit.
If you kiss a boy on the mouth
your lips will stick together
and he’ll use the opportunity
to suck out your brains.
If you ever lie to me
God will know and
rat you out.
And sometimes
God exaggerates.
Trust me —
you don’t want that
to happen
“Lies My Mother Told Me” by Elizabeth Thomas from From the Front of the Classroom. © Antrim House, 2008. Reprinted by permission
