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作者:三元,姜海舟汉译英

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发表于 2016-4-3 11:53:54 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
The Home of a Junkman

At a corner of an old wall which was forcedly pull down
Two truants playing house, he and she,
Made one toy and one Buddha of sand?

Put together closely under moonlight厖?parents’ tricycle didn’t home
On the back hedge, a painstaking towel gourd

Was hanging



46《拾荒者的家》

老墙被强拆后留下的一角废墟  
两个逃学的孩子做着家家,他和她用沙泥  
捏出玩具和菩萨——

在月光下紧紧挨着……爸妈的三轮车还没回来  
身后的篱垣墙头,挂着  

一条苦心孤诣的丝瓜



The Deiform Wedding Night

On the leipothymic rimrock, there was a deiform wedding night
of faint black flowers……
I heard hoofbeats below a crater
There were white horses back and forth in the woods



47《神性的初夜》

昏厥的悬崖有黑花依约神的初夜……
我听到环形山下
白马在林间踆巡的蹄音



The Clay

It can meet everyone’s wish
Only when the craftsmanship is not good enough
will your “clay blessing” never be happy



48《这烂泥》  

这烂泥能满足每个人的心愿,  
只是手上的功夫不到家时,  
你捏造的“阿福”总是开心不起来啊



For Fun

A goofy man is selling watermelons on the riverside. I buy one and pay him a big bill.
I say to him: “ keep the change and cut the watermelon open”.
Wow! What a good watermelon! Red meat and black seeds.
I give him a half. He looks up in the sunlight and smiles on me like a finless.
We both start eating face to face, it’s extremely delicious.



49《找乐》

傻子在江边卖瓜,我买了给他一个整钞
对他说:“不用找零,切开吧”
哇,红瓤黑耔
我又分了一半给他。他抬头在阳光里,回报我一个江豚似的微笑
两人对吃起来,美味超乎想象



An Abandoned Road

An abandoned road
In an abandoned night, waiting
For an abandoned person
To go together
To that
Abandoned spring of rattlebush



50《遗弃的路》

遗弃的路
在被遗弃的夜里 等待
被遗弃的人
一同走向
那个
被遗弃的野百合的春天



The Characteristic of Human Dignity

Making grievous history
To have passementerie
Of delicate woodbinds,
The thought in thunderclaps
Is just like
A concealed ancient China bell,
Silently in the sky of infernos.
                        Both the sun and the moon are
Been hanging by there.
It still can not coordinate them,

Unless a heavy universal snow would
Harmonize with the astonishing toll......

                            Liaoli Village, Nanxun Town,
January 4, 2000



51《人格特征》

雷霆的思想为悲哀的历史
镶镌精美的忍冬花
如一口封存的震旦古钟
沉默于地狱上空
              日月并悬
仍无法同它照应

只有一场宇宙的大雪才能和其惊人的鸣声......

2000.1.4南浔辽里村



When I am Stepping into the Room of the Night to Write

When I am stepping into the room of the night
To write, I carelessly knocked over
My daughter’s little teddy bear
Which can walk----
Is that the signal for help
Sent by my faraway dreaming taughter?
Time after time, she is likely reminding me that
Don’t forget to take care of her and protect her,
As she is always thinking of me and thinking of our home----
“Dad, I’ve just seen the India Ocean tsunami.
I and mom have been staying in the Spring Centre Village......
We ’re doing well now...... ”

Aprile 4, 2005



《当我走进深夜的房间写作》

当我走进深夜的房间写作
不小心碰到了女儿
会走路的小熊玩具——
这是远方的女儿在梦里
向我发来的呼救信号?一次又一次
仿佛她时时都在提醒我
别忘了对她的关爱和保护
就像她时时都在想念我,想念这个家——
“爸爸,我刚才看到了印度洋海啸
我和妈妈一直在泉心村里.....
我现在过得还好.....”

05.4.6



To Live in Such a Time

To live in such a time,
As to live in any time,
I have to do the best
To accomplish the mission granted by the time
----Though the word mission now
Only allows me to deal with tough problems
With my empty hands.
And to cast pearls before swine at night......
Yes, I feel lonely deeply.
In the lone, now and then, a chilly air is
Blowing around.
                                    
                    March 28, 2005, at night
                 


《生活在这样的时代》

生活在这样的时代
就像生活在任何时代
我得不遗余力
完成时代赋予的使命
——尽管“使命”在当下
只允许我空着手
处理棘手的问题
或在夜里对牛弹琴......
是啊,我深感寂寞
寂寞里还不时有冷风
吹来

         05.3.28夜



The Dark Age

During the dark age, there are also phoenixes
Silently flying over
The sound asleep ocean
Of peonies.



《暗劫》

暗劫,也有凤凰
无声地飞过
沉酣不醒的牡丹之海



Snowing, a Sleepless Night of the Winter

You are texting me accidentally:
“The daffodils are blooming and
Are you at home on your own?”

May 12, in the evening



《雪,失眠的冬夜》

你发来了意外的短信:
“水仙开了
你一个人在家吗?”

5.12 傍晚
发表于 2016-4-4 12:11:59 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 爱好诗歌 于 2016-4-7 20:17 编辑

just for the last:


1.诗歌里对方名字是雪,还是把什么短信比做雪?
2.短诗歌,微诗歌目前也可算一阵风,是事实,不可否认,但微诗歌用大又长的标题,是内容装?还是标题装?
3.不管喻人或物,Snowing慎用ing,虽说Snowing也算名词.
4.应该a Sleepless Night 还是my或your Sleepless Night ?
5.应该of the Winter还是in the Winter?
6.应该You are -ing me 还是You -ed me或 i'm...ed... ?
7.应该are blooming还是is blooming 或in bloom?

8.待续
9待续
10待续
10
12
13
14
15.
发表于 2016-4-7 11:03:25 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 爱好诗歌 于 2016-4-7 20:22 编辑

Are you at home on your own?”

老外会理解成:你是一个人,而不是一只猫、一条狗、或一条鱼在家,而且就一只,一个,或一条什么、什么东西。没有你要用英语说的东西。

类似语境用英语说就用绝对词:never,no,none,never,all,等,或局部否定或反向表达(i.e. .all alone,lonely, only,  etc.);漏洞一行两出还有余,

其余的那些东西如何处理,你自己就看着办吧,但有一条以后要注意,


自量慎事汉译英,

菽莠老外逛北京;



还有一条要马上注意,论坛有义务发言人,或许志愿者提议案了,转载以下:



1.
这里不是《作业帮》,《作业帮》您懂吗?到那个网站,你要练习去浅水区找陪练,您的目的能更理想。这里人貌似老粗,实则各个重量级,出手黑,招术狠,他们大都是上班时间偷忙上网,没有更多时间看你那些疑似3无或n无产品。这样对你、我大家都好。

2.
言之有理,这地不是批改学生作业的,就算是,这地留的作业是论文,不是作文,您的文章体例要改变一下。yao要不然,就像人家讲的,把英语部分删除,把中文部分找地另发表.


3.
如果您真喜欢这里,也请您有机会在这里转发本《限贴令》,或来贴切题的文章,即便是半成品、几行字、几句话。或翻译心得,成功或失败感言,或者研究成果、学术报告,只要体例对,对题,对口再长也可以,把您的毕业论文拿来也成,您懂吗?你、我大家都这样做,彼此都受益,不然,都上些3无货,这个床子就黄铺拉,让你们自己搞僵尸了。



4.
早有网友先人提议过,发表于 2013-9-25 04:40:50 来自手机 |只看该作者 还有你关于翻译的方法的问题。我的看法是先是理解正确,然后再动笔翻译。这是废话,没错。但恕我直言,在这个论坛里,我们从来不缺少什么翻译,我们缺少的是切实的理解。对理解的准确性和完整性的追求,有时会让人甚至放弃翻译的尝试。因为毕竟,我们不能为翻译而翻译。5.


May 12, in the evening

发表于 2016-4-7 14:39:23 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 爱好诗歌 于 2016-4-7 20:03 编辑

在这个论坛里,我们从来不缺少什么翻译,我们缺少的是切实的理解。对理解的准确性和完整性的追求,有时会让人甚至放弃翻译的尝试。因为毕竟,我们不能为翻译而翻译。5.

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