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卡洛琳•凯泽 Carolyn Kizer 诗 Bitch

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发表于 2015-1-11 11:37:14 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式



     Bitch
          Carolyn Kizer
Now, when he and I meet, after all these years,
I say to the bitch inside me, don’t start growling.   
He isn’t a trespasser anymore,
Just an old acquaintance tipping his hat.
My voice says, “Nice to see you,”
As the bitch starts to bark hysterically.
He isn’t an enemy now,
Where are your manners, I say, as I say,
“How are the children? They must be growing up.”   
At a kind word from him, a look like the old days,   
The bitch changes her tone; she begins to whimper.   
She wants to snuggle up to him, to cringe.
Down, girl! Keep your distance
Or I’ll give you a taste of the choke-chain.
“Fine, I’m just fine,” I tell him.
She slobbers and grovels.
After all, I am her mistress. She is basically loyal.   
It’s just that she remembers how she came running   
Each evening, when she heard his step;
How she lay at his feet and looked up adoringly   
Though he was absorbed in his paper;
Or, bored with her devotion, ordered her to the kitchen   
Until he was ready to play.
But the small careless kindnesses
When he’d had a good day, or a couple of drinks,
Come back to her now, seem more important
Than the casual cruelties, the ultimate dismissal.
“It’s nice to know you are doing so well,” I say.
He couldn’t have taken you with him;
You were too demonstrative, too clumsy,
Not like the well-groomed pets of his new friends.   
“Give my regards to your wife,” I say. You gag
As I drag you off by the scruff,
Saying, “Goodbye! Goodbye! Nice to have seen you again.”
              Mermaids in the Basement, 1984



   贱逼
     卡洛琳•凯泽
如今,我和他又见了面,这么多年后,
我对我内在的那个贱逼说,别犯贱哼哼。
他不再是个侵入者,只是
一个旧相识,会用手碰碰帽沿。
我嘴里说:“见到你很高兴”,
而那贱逼则开始狗一样狂叫。
他不再是敌人了,
我一边说,你的风度都哪去了,一边说:
“你孩子都好吧?肯定都长大了吧”。
他的一句软话,往日的神情一闪,
那贱逼就换了语气,并开始抽抽搭搭。
她想依偎过去,一脸谄媚。
“坐下,乖!坐到旁边去,
要不我就叫你尝尝带刺项圈的滋味”。
我告诉他:“我挺好,都挺好的”。
她却咽着口水,摇头摆尾。
说到底,我是他的情妇。骨子里忠心耿耿。
也就是,她记得她每个傍晚一听到
他的脚步,便那么小跑着上前;
她那样匍匐在他脚下,敬慕地仰头看着,
虽然他一心一意地看着报纸;
对她的死心塌地烦了,就使唤她去厨房,
等他有心情玩的时候再来。
但他那些许不经意的和善,
在一天好心情或喝了几杯之后,
此刻被她记起,似乎更加重要,
胜过随心的残忍,最终的离弃。
“不错呀,你混得这么好,”我说。
他本来就不会把你留在身边;
你那么不懂含蓄,那么笨拙,
一点没有他新朋友精心妆扮的宠物样。
我说,“向你的太太问好”。我抓着
你脖子上的长毛拖开你,你咬着牙
说:“再会!再会哦!真开心能再次见到你”。
     选自《地下室里的美人鱼》1984年

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