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星子安娜翻译肖今的致在热火中水的呼吸

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发表于 2014-2-13 06:02:18 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
本帖最后由 星子安娜 于 2014-2-15 06:48 编辑

致在热火中水的呼吸

肖今

啊,又退回又退回到这扇门里
它狭窄,幽暗,悲凉,没有呼吸
连空气都被死亡啃噬着

七月流火已扑向门前
这时才想起蛇体的游滑和鱼肢的灵活
它们多么善于和容易逃离现场
而不象那滴水
任火舌将它吞咽

啊,你不要和那滴水一样
把你灵魂里的水汁全都分泌出来
把你死角里的冰山用这火去解冻
你不是那滴不能呼吸的水
你是无穷的源流
足以降压体温之上的火势

时间的狱门必由时间打开
在沦落的精神世界里
滴水的呼吸是你通向清澈的暗道
丢了钥匙,迷了路
只要你心中还有一个地址
不管天昏地黑
总有到达的时候


To the Breath of Water in the Intense Fire

Ah, back, back to the door again
a narrow, dark, sad, unbreathing door
even the air is clutched by death

July's burning fire approaches its front
Only now I recall the slippery snake and nimble fish-
how easily they can flee from the scene
not like the waterdrop -
leaving itself to be swallowed in flames

Ah, do not be like that waterdrop!
Gather all the juice from every part of your soul
Thaw the iceberg in your dead corners with the fire
You are not the waterdrop that cannot breathe
You are the infinite head-waters
capable of diminishing this body’s fire

The hell of time must open by time itself
In the fallen spiritual world
the breathing of your water is
the hidden path to purity
Even with keys lost and ways unknown
as long as there is an address in your heart
Regardless whether faint or gloomy
you will always arrive



请多指正!
发表于 2014-2-13 10:08:24 | 显示全部楼层
通向清澈/心中有个地址~~ 分享。
发表于 2014-2-13 10:30:37 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 姜海舟 于 2014-2-13 10:32 编辑

拜读。。谢谢分享。。
发表于 2014-2-13 11:28:19 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 戴玨 于 2014-2-13 15:23 编辑

標題:the Breathing of the Water...

第一節:dutched? 甚麼意思?
Even the air is being gnawed by death

第二節:July's burning fire或the burning fire in July
...
leaving itself being swallowed in flames

第三節:多了個do not
...
Secrete all the juices in your soul
Thaw the iceberg in your dead end with the fire
...
You are the infinite head-waters
capable of subduing the above-body-temperature heat of the fire.

第四節:The prison-door of time must be opened by time itself
In the fallen spiritual world
...your secret path to purity (limpidity) [lead to多餘]
Having lost your keys, and lost your way
...
and no matter how dark the surroundings are
you will always get there in time

 楼主| 发表于 2014-2-14 00:37:24 | 显示全部楼层
谢谢楼上各位。


尤其谢谢戴旺。  很多宝贵意见。。。很好。

安娜
 楼主| 发表于 2014-2-14 00:43:27 | 显示全部楼层
haha 才看到的: 有一种传统的说法,翻译似女人,太精确就不漂亮,漂亮的又不忠诚。”所以,玛莱克始终秉持一种观点:“诗歌译作只要保有原作七成的原味,就算是成功了

http://www.poemlife.com/newshow-8278.htm

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