叠砖（作者：拉金，姜海舟译）

姜海舟

To Put One Brick Upon Another

To put one brick upon another,
Add a third and then a forth,
Leaves no time to wonder whether
What you do has any worth.

But to sit with bricks around you
While the winds of heaven bawl
Weighing what you should or can do
Leaves no doubt of it at all.



叠砖

把一块砖放在另一块上，
加上第三块然后第四块，
来不及考虑你这么干
是否值得。

然而坐下，砖头围绕
当天堂之风呼啸
权衡着该做什么，能做什么
一切乃豁然开朗。

阿九

“和四周的砖头坐在一起”这个译法太可爱了！
But to sit with (bricks around you)

这里的自然顿挫应是
But to sit / with bricks around you

姜海舟

阿九 发表于 2013-12-15 01:05
“和四周的砖头坐在一起”这个译法太可爱了！
But to sit with (bricks around you)

{:4_101:}是，和下一句是二种情况呼应。已改。谢谢！
顺祝好！

stonescott

姜海舟 发表于 2013-12-15 10:38
like"come, sit with me here.." 或可译作“陪着你周围的砖头”

顺祝好！ ...

这样解释不可爱，反而可笑

stonescott

这是我2009年翻译的，见笑了！

垒砖头

在一块砖头上放另一块，
又一块，然后再一块，
让你无暇考虑
是否你的所为有价值。

当大风咆哮着来袭
你坐着，砖头在你的周围
权衡你即将的所作所为
让一切无可质疑。

To Put One Brick Upon Another-----Philip Larkin

To put one brick upon another,
Add a third and then a forth,
Leaves no time to wonder whether
What you do has any worth.

But to sit with bricks around you
While the winds of heaven bawl
Weighing what you should or can do
Leaves no doubt of it at all.

李文熙

stonescott 发表于 2013-12-16 10:18  这是我2009年翻译的，见笑了！   垒砖头

流畅自然

姜海舟

李文熙 发表于 2013-12-16 11:20
流畅自然

谢谢文兄！多批！