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◎ 查尔斯·布可夫斯基:《记忆中的微笑》 (阅读2846次)



记忆中的微笑

(查尔斯·布可夫斯基/作,白元宝/译)

我们养了一些金鱼,它们在水里游来游去。
放鱼缸的桌子旁,是可以看风景的窗户,
厚厚的窗帘垂下来。
我的母亲永远微笑着,她希望我们全都
幸福,她对我说,“开心点儿,亨利!”
她是对的:在能开心的时候保持开心,总是一件
好事。
但是我的父亲继续打她和我,每周都要来那么几次,
只要
怒火在他六英尺二英寸的身体内燃烧,在
他不了解是什么从他的内部袭击他的时候。

我的母亲,可怜的鱼,
她希望能幸福;尽管每周都挨两三次打,
却要我高兴:“亨利,笑一笑!
你为什么从来不笑?”

接着,她就会微笑,让我看清应该怎么笑。那是我见过的
最悲伤的笑。

有一天,金鱼死了,五个都死了。
它们漂在水面上,侧着身子,它们的
眼睛依然睁着。
父亲回来后,把它们扔给了厨房里的
猫。我们就这么看着,而母亲
微笑着。




a smile to remember
  

we had goldfish and they circled around and around
in the bowl on the table near the heavy drapes
covering the picture window and
my mother, always smiling, wanting us all
to be happy, told me, "be happy Henry!"
and she was right: it's better to be happy if you
can
but my father continued to beat her and me several times a week while
raging inside his 6-foot-two frame because he couldn't
understand what was attacking him from within.

my mother, poor fish,
wanting to be happy, beaten two or three times a
week, telling me to be happy: "Henry, smile!
why don't you ever smile?"

and then she would smile, to show me how, and it was the
saddest smile I ever saw

one day the goldfish died, all five of them,
they floated on the water, on their sides, their
eyes still open,
and when my father got home he threw them to the cat
there on the kitchen floor and we watched as my mother
smiled

Charles Bukowski


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