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◎ Adrienne Rich - 潜入沉船Diving into the Wreck (阅读7198次)



潜入沉船
阿德里安·里奇(adrienne rich)

首先我已读过那本神话书,
给相机装上胶卷,
检查一下刀锋,
我穿上
黑胶潜水服,
套上滑稽的脚蹼
戴上死沉沉恼人的面罩。
我非得这样做
不像考思图与他
那勤奋的小组
登上满载阳光的帆船
可这儿只我一人。

那儿有把梯子。
梯子总是悬挂在那儿
靠着船舷
一副很无辜的样子。
我们都知道它有什么用,
我们都用过它。
若不然
它不过是船上的一件杂物
某种设备而已。

我走下去。
一级又一级,而
氧气仍然包围着我。
蓝色的光
清晰的原子
属于我们人类的空气。
我走下走。
脚蹼让我一跛一拐,
我像虫子般顺着梯子往下爬
没有人
来告诉我何时海洋
会来临

一开始空气是蓝色的接着
更蓝了然后变绿然后
变黑而我昏昏欲厥,好在
面罩非常管用
它把力量注入我的血液之中
海则是另外一回事
海无关乎力量的问题
我得独自学会
在无边的深渊
在失重下转动身体。

此时:很容易忘记
我来干吗
四周尽是一直
生长在这里的
植物,在暗礁之中
摇曳着它们的齿状叶子
除此之外
你的呼吸在这下面与众不同。

我来这里探险沉船。
词语是目的。
词语是地图。
我是来看那已经发生的毁坏
以及尽人皆知的财宝。
我摇动着灯,光柱
缓缓地沿着
那比鱼或海草
更加长久的东西的侧面

我为之而来的:
是沉船而非沉船背后的故事
是事物本身而非它的神话
淹没在水中的脸
总是面朝太阳
毁坏的遗迹
被盐侵蚀并摇曳着进入残败的美
劫后的船肋
雕刻着幽灵般出现的
探试者的断言。

这就是那个地方。
这里有我,有美人鱼,深色的头发
像一股股黑色的泉流,有披着铠甲美男鱼,
我们静静盘旋
在沉船的四周
我们潜入船舱。
我是她:我是他

那浸泡在水里的脸睁着眼沉睡
那乳房依然承负着压力
那银的,铜的,鲜红的货物幽幽地
躺在桶子里面
半卡着等着腐烂
我们是半毁坏了的仪器
曾经掌控一条航线
我们是水吞噬的日记
是泥淤塞的罗盘

我们,我,你
不管出于怯懦还是无畏
是那找到自己的路
返回这个场景的人
我们携带着刀,照相机
以及一本神话书
在书中
我们的名字未曾显现。


First having read the book of myths,
and loaded the camera,
and checked the edge of the knife-blade,
I put on
the body-armor of black rubber
the absurd flippers
the grave and awkward mask.
I am having to do this
not like Cousteau with his
assiduous team
aboard the sun-flooded schooner
but here alone.

There is a ladder.
The ladder is always there
hanging innocently
close to the side of the schooner.
We know what it is for,
we who have used it.
Otherwise
it is a piece of maritime floss
some sundry equipment.

I go down.
Rung after rung and still
the oxygen immerses me
the blue light
the clear atoms
of our human air.
I go down.
My flippers cripple me,
I crawl like an insect down the ladder
and there is no one
to tell me when the ocean
will begin.

First the air is blue and then
it is bluer and then green and then
black I am blacking out and yet
my mask is powerful
it pumps my blood with power
the sea is another story
the sea is not a question of power
I have to learn alone
to turn my body without force
in the deep element.

And now: it is easy to forget
what I came for
among so many who have always
lived here
swaying their crenellated fans
between the reefs
and besides
you breathe differently down here.

I came to explore the wreck.
The words are purposes.
The words are maps.
I came to see the damage that was done
and the treasures that prevail.
I stroke the beam of my lamp
slowly along the flank
of something more permanent
than fish or weed

the thing I came for:
the wreck and not the story of the wreck
the thing itself and not the myth
the drowned face always staring
toward the sun
the evidence of damage
worn by salt and away into this threadbare beauty
the ribs of the disaster
curving their assertion
among the tentative haunters.

This is the place.
And I am here, the mermaid whose dark hair
streams black, the merman in his armored body.
We circle silently
about the wreck
we dive into the hold.
I am she: I am he

whose drowned face sleeps with open eyes
whose breasts still bear the stress
whose silver, copper, vermeil cargo lies
obscurely inside barrels
half-wedged and left to rot
we are the half-destroyed instruments
that once held to a course
the water-eaten log
the fouled compass

We are, I am, you are
by cowardice or courage
the one who find our way
back to this scene
carrying a knife, a camera
a book of myths
in which
our names do not appear.


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