I.擦洗
也许她看到圣父就暗藏在
每个七岁孩子的面孔的后面——
三十双眼睛望着她，审视着。
二十岁挂零，邪恶与善良的同一季
收成——像他们的妈妈，叔叔与表兄弟们。
许多东西毁了。傲慢。凌乱。
每年三十个子女，
她从未想要从她自己身边
推开一个。在她自身之外
他们还会有什么世界？
怎样教导他们，幸福
仅仅来自接纳，
而美好开始于爱干净。
她的教室就像她
没有后代的家那样整齐。
II.美
电视上的盛大场面向我们展示
如何排队，怎样被分类。
我同情那些不得不挑选我们的男孩们。
他们一定也已经看到了那些争夺。
我所看到的一切都和爱
相关，它的承诺。
荧屏是一面贪婪的镜子
隐瞒着实实在在的事。
反射着我们的饥饿。欲望
和自我克制，一起，是我们的给养。
在学校里，我们学习那些成人的戏剧，
认识到，我们的身体就可能会出卖我们。
我们的老师鼓励每个人，
男孩们则热切地挑选，
避开黑女孩，她们动人的
嘴唇，她们谴责的眼睛。
III.经济学
当哈里丝夫人掴了我兄弟一掌
他的鼻子流血了——一次紧急抗议。
它持续了几个钟头——在学校，在公共汽车上，
在家里。既不是挂在他背后一根
细绳上的银钥匙，也不是他唇下
棕色的纸团可以把抗议平息。
我们没有考虑费用，为一次诉讼，
但接受了校长精明的
提议：一年的免费午餐。
IV.公民身份
一位白人教师在一所黑人学校，
年轻而美丽，她的位子很有保证。
我们领会了归属问题
是在一次公民课的作业里：
找出我们家庭的
姓氏的来源。
我父亲的回答在我听来
感觉满意，虽然它触怒了她：
它们来自奴隶主——
这便是我们这些人姓氏的来历。
而你的呢？则来自一个叫做斯特兰吉（Strange）的白人。
How to Teach Them
I. Grooming
Maybe she saw God the Father lurking
behind each seven-year-old's face —
thirty pairs of eyes watching her, judging.
For twenty-odd years the same crop of bad
and good — their mamas, uncles, cousins.
So many ruined. Insolent. Unkempt.
Thirty offspring every year,
she never wanted to push one
out of herself. What world
could they have outside her own?
How to teach them that happiness
would come only from acceptance,
that beauty begins with cleanliness.
Her classroom was as orderly
as her childless home.
II. Beauty
TV pageants had shown us
how to line up, be sorted.
I pitied the boys who had to pick us.
They must've seen those contests too.
What we saw had everything to do
with love, the promise of it.
The screen was a greedy mirror
withholding the goods,
reflecting our hunger. Desire
and denial, at once, our ration.
At school, we learned those adult dramas,
learned that our bodies could betray us.
Our teacher urging each one,
the boys chose eagerly,
shunning the darker girls, their moving
lips, their accusing eyes.
III. Economics
When Mrs. Harris slapped my brother
his nose bled — an instant protest.
It kept up for hours — at school, on the bus,
at home. Neither the silver key hung
down his back on a string nor the wad
of brown paper under his lip could quell it.
We didn't consider charges, a lawsuit,
but accepted the principal's astute
offer: a year of free lunch.
IV. Citizenship
One white teacher in a black school,
young and pretty, her place assured.
We learned about belonging
from a civics assignment:
Find out the origins
of our family names.
My father's answer made perfect
sense to me, though it angered her:
They came from the slave master —
that's how our people got them.
Yours? From a white man called Strange.
Sharan Strange
Ash
2000 Barnard New Women Poets Prize
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